


Your Guide Through Love, Death, and Living in Hell

by lemonedgeworth



Series: Your Guide, At Your Service! [1]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: AU, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SO MUCH FLUFF, a non-canon explanation for something canon, and also he needs a door, and i don't mean work, and will be making a sequel once they're both done, and zagreus gets pissed at the narrator, anyway, as well as random one shots later on, badly., because i'm making a prequel, but not yet, but there will be no fluff or smut for a while cause it's slowburn, but with a completely new character some stuff is gonna change, chapter 2: zag dies electric boogaloo, did I mention slowburn, he's got a lot of stuff to do, hopefully, i can't believe i finished chapter 2, i mean self-reflection and a lot of crying, it's part of a series now, like at all, oh my god i love thanzag so much you don't even know, poor than, slowburn, soon though, specifically the blessed guide companion au i made, the guide and than have decided that than needs to get a boyfriend, there might be some smut or something down the line but it's not guaranteed, this is not canon-compliant, this isn't an update i just forgot to tag dusa and she's gonna show up soon, vaguely not straight fuckin water mentions?, vaguely though, well it is sort of, what is guaranteed is, which will be explained as we go along, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonedgeworth/pseuds/lemonedgeworth
Summary: The Olympian gods may bless certain shades as guides- special spirits with abilities that rival their own. Of course, in exchange, they're unable to interact with the surface and have but one job: to guide one individual, living or dead, god or mortal, through eternity. When one of Aphrodite's shades appears in the House of Hades, they take an interest in the God of the Dead's son and his efforts to escape. Of course, that means they're stuck together for eternity, and (unrequited) advice on how to escape Hell isn't the only thing Zagreus gets from them...
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Series: Your Guide, At Your Service! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171583
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. His Flailing Attempts

**Author's Note:**

> wooo what an idea! it started as a bad self-insert actually and just became... this. a big ol' thanzag fic with a new character who is totally all for it. also a bunch of other stupid headcanons and au ideas mashed in. whoops!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanatos finds himself dragging a very talkative guide out of the Pool of Styx.
> 
> Zagreus is ecstatic to see a new arrival at the House.
> 
> The guide takes a trip into Tartarus.

Death Incarnate had seen all types of shades. If he hadn’t taken them to the House himself, he often met them later after their death. This one, a blessed guide bearing the mark of Aphrodite, was nothing new to him.

He had not, however, expected to be regarded so… casually. “You must be Thanatos, right?” The guide squinted at him. Mortals often were afraid of death, and to meet its physical form was often met with fear, then relief as Than would explain what he was doing. Not… whatever this was.

“Yes. I’m here to take you-” The guide cut him off and held out his hand.

“I’m meeting someone new, aren’t I? Might as well shake your hand if we’re going to be coworkers forever. Get to know you.”

Thanatos absently shook the guide’s hand, which felt suspiciously light, like he wasn’t even touching him at all. He probably wasn’t. “Come on. You’re not the only mortal who’s died today.” And with that, Than shifted away, dragging the guide with him.

***

Zagreus let out a loud groan as he climbed out of the Pool of Styx. Yet another Lout had gotten him, and it was starting to worry him how much he died to the same things over and over and over.

“Wow, another Wretched Lout got you that time! I don’t know, maybe, run out of the way first?” Hypnos, as always, was waiting for him as he passed by with very obvious (and very simplified) advice to give.

“Of course, yeah, I’ll try that.” Wiping the blood from his face, he ran over to Cerberus, lying on the bedroll he’d commissioned like always. He gave his left head a few scratches behind his ears. “Who’s a good boy?” he cooed, which earned him an earnest bark.

“Stop pestering the dog,” Hades growled from his seat nearby. Zagreus ignored him and headed over to the west wing, disappointed to see Achilles off-duty. It seemed like nobody was in the House today. Nobody who actually cared about him, at least.

Splashing coming from the Pool speared through his thoughts. Only he ever made that much noise when he emerged from the Pool of Styx. So that must mean…

“A guide,” he whispered. They never showed up here, and his father was grateful for that. 

He, unsurprisingly, was not.

The guide’s pink tint and the hearts all over his outfit were a telltale sign of Aphrodite’s influence. He looked like he was being dragged out- no, he _was_ being dragged out of the Pool. By Thanatos. Who looked very exasperated.

“My lord,” he called to Hades as he approached, “we have a guide to be registered.” He glared at said guide, who blinked at him incredulously.

“What? I was just trying to be polite! Make small talk-” Than shut him up with a glare. 

“And ask very personal questions, while keeping me from my work.” He looked up at Hades. “My lord, what-”

“Have Hypnos register him, as he always does. I have more pressing matters to deal with as of late.” Zagreus could’ve sworn his eyes darted over to his hiding spot for a moment. Ah. So he was dealing with a load of paperwork from his load of deaths. He couldn’t help but smirk at the amount of work he was causing for his father.

Thanatos pulled the guide past him, which he decided was his cue to leave again.

***

 _I’m marked by Aphrodite, aren’t I? I have a right to ask- what do you think about love?_ Thanatos could still hear the guide’s voice. The question seemed innocent enough- he _was_ blessed by Aphrodite and was leagues more modest, so he should’ve found the question fairly easy to answer. Of course, the guide had asked the question based on his unnervingly acute observation that Thanatos was in love with someone who he was sure didn’t like him back at all. So it made him flush golden, yell at him, and drag him out of the Pool of Styx himself and leave him for Hades and Hypnos to deal with.

As he went about the rest of his work, he couldn’t help but continue to think about how Zagreus had been watching him and the guide with the most joyful expression. He must’ve been very excited to see a new guide arrive at the House, but some small part of his heart hoped he was also that excited to see _him._ Of course, both of them had been so distant with each other lately, he was afraid their friendship had dissipated altogether. He probably hadn’t even noticed Than at all. By the time he caught a break at his balcony, Zagreus was gone, probably training in the courtyard.

“Hey, sorry about earlier... Didn’t realize that would be such a sore spot for you.” He turned, startled, to see the guide looking up at him, head ducked, face sheepish. “I just thought… you might want some advice.” Despite himself, Than allowed himself the smallest of smiles. He _had_ been a bit harsh with him.

“Ah, I should be apologizing to you. I should’ve been more polite.” Thanatos turned back around to watch the Styx. The guide seemed to take this as a sign to leave. In truth, Than just wanted someone to talk to about this- but he didn’t trust the guide with that quite yet. His mistrust was baseless; the guide had proven that he was nothing if not a decent individual, but… even thinking about this made him uncomfortable. He decided work would help him get his mind off of… whatever this endeavor was.

It didn’t.

***

The guide knew what he had to do. He had to find someone here and help them around. Forever. It sounded fairly boring to him, so he decided he’d take a while, find someone with an interesting life, an interesting lineage, an interesting personality, anything _interesting._ Someone he could stand being friends with for quite literally forever. So he went around, asking various important figures one question:

“Who here needs me the most?” Mother Night herself was the first he went to.

“I could not say. Many of us here have duties only we can carry out. I would recommend you find someone to guide yourself,” Nyx responded, ending the conversation somewhat abruptly. 

Alright then.

Hypnos was sleeping, he’d promised himself he’d give Thanatos some space, and Hades himself scared him a bit too much for him to approach him. So, that left only one more option.

Achilles had just reached his post then, standing there, ever vigilant. The guide waved at him as he approached, which got him a nod in response.

“Sir, I- I wanted to ask- who here do you think could use my help the most?” He found it difficult to talk to him- what would he be like? A forgotten warrior like him could be any type of person, and he hoped dearly that he’d be the stern-but-kind fatherly type.

“Ah, I heard you were asking around. What brings you to someone like me?”

“I, well, it’s just you and Nyx for me to talk to- since Hypnos is asleep and I already talked to Than earlier- and you seemed like you were knowledgeable about the people here, and…” He trailed off, not sure how to end that mess of a sentence. Achilles simply gave him a small smile.

“Well, I don’t want to speak for anybody, but the Master’s son has been trying to escape for a long while now, and I can’t say it doesn’t seem lonely out in Tartarus. I fear that without someone to accompany him he will never reach his goal.” The guide blinked, a little surprised that he’d gotten such a plain answer.

“So… you think I should find Zagreus?” He sure checked all the interesting boxes. “Thanks for the recommendation, if you can call it that.” He beamed at Achilles, who nodded and turned to watch the rest of the shades around the House.

Alright. He just had to find one person in the entirety of Tartarus.

***

Narrowly dodging another Numbskull, Zagreus took a moment to breathe and ask himself: How was he going to do this? If he couldn’t even get through Tartarus, what was the rest of the Underworld going to have in store for him? Yet another Numbskull shot itself straight into him, driving the air out of his lungs. He couldn’t think like that. The more he did, the harder it got to concentrate and the worse- the more sloppy he became. He had to focus on his quest. He _had_ to make it to the surface. Even if he would miss so many of the Underworld’s residents dearly… Nyx, Achilles, Megaera (who probably wouldn’t miss him), even Hypnos…

Thanatos. Gods, he’d left his oldest friend without even saying goodbye. He hoped he’d get to talk to him soon enough. Hopefully Than didn’t take it personally. Hopefully, Than would still even want to associate with him at all. It wasn’t likely, but… he could hope.

Finally, the chamber was cleared- and he got a bottle of nectar. Another to add to the stash, he supposed. He’d been giving quite a bit of it to Cerberus and Achilles, and the keepsakes he’d gotten were pretty useful- he was even wearing the spiked collar Cerberus had given him as best he could.

“Next chamber!” he shouted to nobody, pushing through the gate, to see…

...the guide from earlier, floating in front of a myriad of shades. He looked up, saw Zagreus, and sighed in what looked like relief. 

“I was looking for you! Turns out, uh, these guys really like me.” He floated a bit higher. “Mind taking care of them for me?” Clearly he wasn’t one to question why, exactly, the guide was looking for him, so he decided that it was already his goal to kill all of the shades in the chamber. So, he did, almost getting himself killed in the process. Again.

“Phew! Thanks, man.” The guide held out his hand. “Don’t believe we’ve met before. You’re Prince Zagreus, correct?” Zagreus took his hand, surprised to realize he had nothing to grip onto. They just had to mime shaking each other’s hands somewhat awkwardly.

“Uh, yes. I’m Zagreus. Why, exactly, were you looking for me? You could’ve just waited for me at the Pool, you know.” The guide seemed to blush, like he hadn’t thought of that.

“Well, I just- I thought you might- Achilles said you might be lonely out here,” he finally sputtered, surprising Zagreus a bit. Lonely? 

“So, I saw your… flailing attempts to get out of here, and I thought maybe you could use some help.” The guide stared him down. “And if you really do want to escape, I’d say you should accept my help.”  
“Uh, yes, of course,” Zagreus stuttered, a little intimidated by now. Oh well. It would be nice to have some company…

With a smirk, the guide nodded at him. “Alright then, on we go!”


	2. Get A Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zagreus takes a nap.
> 
> Thanatos and the guide hatch a plan.
> 
> Meg and Achilles are tired, and Zag is not helping.

Zagreus climbed out of the Pool, in considerably better spirits this time. He even smiled at Hypnos’ ‘advice.’ (“Oh, Numbskulls got ya! How about you just don’t get hit?”) The guide appeared in front of him with a flourish, crossing his arms.

“You really need to be faster,” he said plainly. “And take attack and dash Boons, not the silly cast ones. You don’t even use your cast.” Zag raised his hand to respond, but was cut off by a long, exaggerated sigh from Hades at his desk.

“Wow, Father,” Zag said with mock amazement, pressing his luck by walking over to Hades’ desk, making sure to track the waters of the Styx along the ground. “I didn’t know you were such an actor! That sigh- it almost sounded like you were annoyed with me!” His father looked up and narrowed his eyes at him, then the guide (who made sure to look like he had nothing to do with this).

“I am much more than _annoyed,_ boy,” he growled. “You are destroying my realm. The House Contractor only has so much work because of _you._ The lounge is a mess because of your actions.”

“Well, that’s technically Cerberus’ fault, though I won’t say it wasn’t because-”

Hades slammed his desk with his fist. “Do _not_ pretend you had nothing to do with his rampage.”

Flinching a bit, Zagreus backed away. He waved to Nyx and headed over to talk to Achilles, who saluted him as he approached. “Hey, Achilles,” he chimed with a small smile. 

“Hello there, lad.” He gave him a smaller one. “How did it go?”  
“Better than expected. Thanks for telling the guide to come help me.” He said the last part a little sheepishly, as he was a little embarrassed to admit that he _had_ been lonely.

“Of course. I thought you might need someone to accompany you.” Achilles’ smile widened- just a bit, but enough for Zagreus to realize how happy he was to help. “Now, I’m sure he would like to talk to you.”

“You’re right, sir,” Zagreus responded. “I’ll go talk to him now.”

Or, he _would_ have, had the guide been somewhere. Zag went to his chambers, and with a sigh, flopped onto his bed. All the expeditions into Tartarus had really been draining…

_And as the Underworld Prince drifted off to sleep, his overeager guide burst into his doorless room with a shout:_

“Zagreus! There you a-” he held out the “a” and connected it into “...who the hell was that.”

With a shrug, Zagreus said, “Just the guy who narrates my life.” 

“The _what?_ ”

“He just narrates my life.”

“This- you know what, you’re a god, I’m not one to question what the fuck is normal here.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You sleep or whatever, I’m going to go take a break from this.”

Zagreus did just that, and slept.

~~~

“Than?” 

The guide crept up behind him, and he wouldn’t admit it, but he hadn’t heard him at first. Thanatos turned around to see the guide floating just behind him, waving with an embarrassed smile.

“Sorry about… yesterday? It was about twelve hours ago, yeah, I could say yesterday.” Thanatos almost answered his apology, but instead “how would you know how long it’s been” slipped out. The guide flushed.

“I just… do? It’s hard to explain. I mean, it’s not like I have the mental capacity to count the seconds.” He laughed quietly, probably in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Well, I’ll say it again: you don’t need to apologize. I was the one who was too harsh. In all honesty I’ve been looking for someone to talk about that with.” He didn’t need to clarify what ‘that’ was.

“Well…” A devilish grin split the guide’s face, and Than realized he may have made a mistake. “I _am_ blessed by Aphrodite, no?”

“Don’t even think about-”

“Before you say it, I would never use a love potion or its equivalent. That’s just… inhumane. But I _can_ and _will_ play matchmaker.” His eyes glinted. “Seriously, anyone can smell the pining from a mile away.”

 _Play dumb._ “Pining? For who?”

“I think you know the answer to that question.” 

“But do _you?_ ”

The guide’s smile softened to something more palatable. “I might seem like it, but I’m not the type of person to overstep boundaries. I won’t tell anyone unless you’re okay with it, and I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” 

_Please, do, help._ He’d never admit it, but Death Incarnate had no clue how to read people. Even simple facial expressions were hard for him to decipher. He also had difficulty expressing his own more often than not. _I care about you_ could come out as _You’re hopeless, you know that?_ (see Hypnos and Zagreus) and nobody would ever know what he meant. So he was upset, but not surprised when the guide’s expression fell. 

“I assume that face means-”

“Please. I need the help.” Than surprised himself with his own words, and the guide looked like he felt the exact same way.

“Well then…” The smirk returned to his face. “Leave it to me.”

~~~

“Help me drain the rest of this contraband, would you?” Achilles gestured to the table, then at Megaera, who strode over and took a swig of nectar without any further instruction.

“Gladly.” She was exhausted, and even if she wasn’t, she was never one to turn down a drink. Especially if she wasn’t paying.

“How have you been?” Achilles asked. Nectar tended to make him more loose, more open to conversation to those he should be afraid of. Meg liked that, so she made a point to only talk to him when he offered her a drink.

“Well, I-” She was cut off by an obscenely loud snore coming from Zagreus’ chambers. Achilles blinked, his eyes wide. “Was that the Prince?”

“Yes. I wasn’t worried about him snoring since he never sleeps, but sounds like it’s our unlucky day.” She took another, larger sip of nectar. “I’ve had to hear that right next to my ear before, so be grateful.”

“I will. But, and excuse my way of speaking about him, why hasn’t the Master gotten doors for his son’s chambers yet?” Achilles looked genuinely confused. “Wouldn’t it be better for him to have the privacy?”

“Don’t ask me, because I don’t know. Zagreus complains about it all the time and he can’t even buy them himself.” Meg shook her head. “The one good thing he’s smart enough to want and he can’t get it.”

~~~

Zagreus had a plethora of dreams, most of them good. Dreams of what the surface might look like, dreams of training with Achilles, dreams of…

He felt himself blush, even though he knew he was dreaming now, in a dull, muted version of his own chambers. Those dreams, though pleasant, were… unrealistic. _Any_ of his dreams about Thanatos were. Especially these. No matter how...

 _Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it,_ Zagreus chanted in his head. The more he did, the worse he felt. _Thanatos!_ Thanatos didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, he was sure. Zagreus didn’t want to shatter their already-fragile relationship by impulsively trying to kiss him, as much as he wanted to. Gods, he wanted to.

_The Underworld Prince, despite his best efforts, began to let his sleep-addled mind wander, to think about Death Itself in all his-_

“Shut up, old man.” Zagreus glanced around his chambers, wondering what kind of dream this was and how it would take his mind off of his previous dreams.

_Uh- erm- the Prince surveyed his chambers, the colors muted and dark. What kind of dream could this be?_

“Your guess is as good as mine. Actually, it’s better since you’re all-seeing or whatever.” He pushed out of his room. What was going on? There was nobody there. As though…

_Hypnos had put all the House’s residents to sleep, per the Prince’s request as usual. Though this time, there was no memory, just a quiet House._

“Huh.” Zagreus crossed his arms. “I could do anything I want…? I could do that anyway, considering this is a dream.” Suddenly, something went off in his head. “Wait… does that mean…?”

He rushed for his father’s seat. It was much too big for him to look over the desk, but he had two choices- he could try to make himself grow, or he could try to hover. This _was_ a dream, right? He could do anything he wanted. Even things that he could barely do when he was awake.

_The ever-mischievous Prince decided he would sit on his father’s throne, and ruin his papers for his dream-self to see when he awoke._

“Of course I’ll do that!” Finding a pomegranate (or, rather, producing one from thin air), he jumped onto the seat and crossed his legs as he attempted to ready the fruit to eat, throwing the unused pieces onto the papers littering Hades’ desk.

_The Prince found himself trying to hover above the seat, and once he had succeeded, thought to himself, “Oh! This is quite fun. I could do this for hours.” Of course, that was when the Fury Sister woke him up._

“Fury-”  
“Zagreus, please wake up before I pull out my whip.”

He sat up instantly. “Meg? What are you doing here?” He realized the minute he looked at her face- and Achilles’, too.

“Well, lad, you… snore very loudly.” Achilles looked exceedingly embarrassed to say so. “So we thought we might come and wake you up. I still don’t understand why your father hasn’t put in doors here yet.”

With one last tug of her whip, Megaera bared her teeth and walked away with a slightly inebriated Achilles not long behind. _I snore?_ This was the first time he’d heard this.

He’d have to confront his father about that door.

~~~

“ _Help_ him?” Thanatos was incredulous. “Lord Hades would- I’d- that-”  
“What, you’d get fired? You can’t fire Death. Look, you don’t even wear the House emblem,” the guide responded, poking at Than’s gorget.

“That doesn’t mean-”  
“It means a lot of things,” the guide responded, as though Thanatos hadn’t spoken. “It means you can’t be fired. It means that you can’t be banished. It means that you don’t even _work_ for Hades. Sure, he can boss you around a little bit, but he can’t fire you. That would be, quite literally, telling a god that they can’t preside over their own domain. A little silly, don’t you think?” The guide quirked an eyebrow, clearly expecting an answer.

“Yes, I suppose,” Than responded. “But-”

“Do you want to help him?” Than nodded. “Then you can.”

“Well… I’m still very busy and our schedules never coincide.” This much was true.  
“With my help, he’ll be in Elysium by the end of the month. You should be done with this big assignment by then, no?” The guide seemed determined to get the two to meet, and Than would never admit how much he appreciated it.

“...Yes.” 

With a nod and a smirk, the guide rested his arms on the balcony. 

“Zagreus does care about you, you know?” He stared out at the Styx even when Thanatos stared at him.

He was just saying that. Zagreus couldn’t care less about him.  
Right?

“You’re stuck in a loop. You think he hates you because he thinks you hate him, and vice versa.” He turned to look away from Than. “Even if I’m wrong and you’re just friends… you’re just that. Friends. Not strangers, not enemies.” He got up and began to float away.

“Speaking of… don’t be a stranger. I’m here to talk to.”

~~~

“Father, I have a favor to ask of you.” Zagreus walked up to Hades’ desk, crossing his arms and trying to look as businesslike as possible.

“You have earned nothing of the sort.”

“I haven’t earned the right to have a door to my room?”

“You can buy one with your spoils from ransacking my realm, can you not?” Hades looked increasingly angry, writing whatever he was writing more furiously.

“I would, if the House Contractor even had one. Besides, I spent all of my _spoils_ on making this place look half-decent.” Hades scoffed. 

“I will let the shades know you require a door. I don’t want to hear you _snoring_ anyway.” 

That went… better than he’d expected it to.

Zagreus walked away, hoping his father wasn’t lying and that he would actually put in a request for a door. 

He needed one.

Motioning for the guide to follow him, Zagreus headed through his decidedly doorless chambers to the courtyard.

Which also had no door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOO sorry for this being so late! This should be updated Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays once I get myself together. This was a fun chapter!


End file.
